Ladies honesty alert ..what to expect after birth

There are a just a few things for expectant mothers to remember and I can give my small snip of honest and crude advice from the experiences I myself have been through.  So if you’re not expecting or don’t want to be put off for life this may not be the post for you to read.

Number one get yourself some Lansinoh cream for your hospital bag if you plan to breast feed. My own experience of breastfeeding was not a lovely memory and not at all what I had imagined it to be, perhaps I was misinformed on the subject but it’s so not as easy as I had thought and certainly not an easy task.  Don’t let me put you off of course, I’m sure there are many women who are lucky enough for it to come naturally but don’t be misguided and be prepared.

Make sure you buzz for a midwife to watch you latch on every time you do it. It’s important in those early days for you to get it right, if you get the latch wrong it ends up being agony! (oooh I can feel the tingling now just at the thought of it)  Don’t be afraid to ask for help, use the midwife’s while they are around to your advantage.

Ladies this is no time for shame, and lets face it you will have to leave your dignity at the labour ward door!  and this is the harsh reality of it I am afraid so here it is…get the biggest, thickest sanitary pads you can.  Proper maternity ones, that look more like a duvet.  And expect the worst period like bleeding ever.  I’m sorry you thought you had heavy periods before, you aint seen nothing yet.  Oh and forget about paper pants, they’re crap! Buy some cheap ones, big and loose too. They’ll get ruined!

Don’t forget to take your flip-flops or plastic bottom slippers for the walks to the toilets and showers and a pretty dressing gown for you to slip over your maternity pj’s.  I knows its vain but you will take pictures and it will help you feel more human.

Things to think about when you get home.  You may want everyone to meet your bundle of joy, but this is yours and the father’s time so take it all in together and you will be so tired it’s good to settle in first.

Perhaps leave a message on your answer phone like I heard the other day like:  “We are pleased to announce the arrival of… we are settling in so going to ground for a week…. we’ll be in touch when we re-surface”   Then sleep when the babe sleeps and enjoy the time muddling together and being new parents.

Then when you do decide to have guests limit visits to an hour. You’ll be amazed how long people stay, and even though you’ve just had a baby.  You may want to have a tidy house and be the perfect hostess but you can’t do it all and don’t feel guilty no one expects it.  Those first few weeks are TRULY all about you guys bonding, and you getting to grips with breastfeeding and getting into your little routine.

I hear in some countries the woman literally stays in bed for the first month to get rested and bond. So keep that in mind!

In the weeks running up to the birth I advise you make big batches of your favourite food to freeze down, for those days you need a helping hand because you need to eat healthily whilst breastfeeding and to keep your energy up.  Perhaps family and friends that offer help in the weeks running up to your birth could do the same?  Trust me they are life savers and you will be so grateful.

Remember there’s no right or wrong way of doing things with a baby. You’re the parents, so your way is the right way!

And corny though it is, “When a baby is born, so is a Mum and Dad”! Don’t be tough on yourselves, you will feel like you don’t know what you’re doing, but it doesn’t matter. Enjoy the early “muddling through”…… and remember your on the same team when things get tough and your tired. Laugh, love and enjoy these early moments, you have been blessed.

Be sure to stop by again soon, as my husband gives you his take on the whole experience! Its sure to be a funny read.


2 thoughts on “Ladies honesty alert ..what to expect after birth

  1. What a wonderful, helpful and honest post! Hasn’t put me off at all, and certainly will be keeping all these things in mind for when my turn comes round 🙂 x x

    1. That’s very lovely of you thank you! Hope you enjoy the posts to come to, its an amusing honest take on a serious matter but lets face it you either laugh or cry and id much rather have a laugh! xx

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